Becky’s Big Apple: Mother’s Day
It’s almost Mother’s Day! To some, it means breakfast in bed, flowers, a day “off” from motherhood. For single moms, not so much. And we are never really “off,” are we anyway? They weren’t kidding when they said motherhood is a full-time job.
Don’t you notice that on a typical Father’s Day, dad REALLY gets to take the day off? I’m talking mentally and physically, OFF. As moms, we don’t get his luxury. There’s something about birthing said child that gives them the right to be physically attached to you 24/7. Even if you haven’t birthed yourself, you still get that primary caregiver status. We need to honor it, even if we sometimes feel tired or drained.
I was on Erik’s Nolapapa podcast recently, and mentioned how the best gift to give ourselves is simply acknowledgement on Mother's Day. Something we often forget or ignore. Acknowledge how time-consuming motherhood is. How much we put into it. How much do they take from us? Our intentions, not necessarily how parenting “turns out.” Though I hate Dr. Phil, I always think about what he said, it’s not about how things end up, but our intentions—something like that. We try our best as moms, and that is what counts—our intentions.
Let yourself bask in all you’ve done. What have you given up of your own to raise your children? How much time have you NOT taken for yourself? How many late nights have you had worrying, healing, hugging? How many days have you felt guilty at work for working moms while still knowing you're showing those kids how to be independent and strong? For single moms, how about the guilt you feel for not being able to extend yourself and be two parents, instead of one? We are often overlooked as mothers, as not working hard outside the home, not contributing. I say, is there anything more challenging than motherhood? Not for me. Raising my son as a semi-single mom has been the most intense, terrifying journey I’ve ever taken, but so rewarding. Even in these teen years, when I see my son only at mealtimes (it seems), I worry all the time about school, friends, and teen angst. It never ends!
So, even if you don’t get pancakes in bed with a rosebud in a vase, make your breakfast and STILL answer 349 questions about where the sun comes from, give yourself a moment or two to HONOR what you’ve done. Cause it’s the most important job on earth.